Monday, October 13, 2014

I..AM..BUSY! And I have a bad case of B.S.!

I know YOU have said that more than once to someone....someone who doesn't craft or doesn't have a hobby other than following you around, or your family who think you should participate in family functions like supper at the table with kids and all that family stuff....but what's really going through your mind is "how quickly can I get this done and get back to my stitching?"

And then the shame sets in.  And this begs the question, "Who have I ignored lately because I was BUSY?" People don't want to be around you just because you are there...it's because they like you or love you or something like that, right?  Sighhh, I like and/or love you too...... 

How do you fix that?  Well, if you use my way of thinking you don't do it in the first place. Which makes me a big, fat hippo-crate!  Oh yes, spelled wrong and everything!  YOU know what I'm saying and if YOU don't have a clue then either no one has made you aware of your problem or you aren't crafting enough!

Selfishly I tell myself that I have sacrificed and struggled and paid my dues and I deserve to be left alone in my world of floss, fabric, patterns, needles, and books.  But my friends and family get this particularly defined and very hurt look in their eyes when I say "I'm busy".  YOU know that look.  I know YOU do, so don't deny it.  It's that look, where one moment they are looking right at you and then glancing at you from the side and then they look down with a kind of sad face and.......

YOU cannot "make it up" to them.  Trust me I have tried.  The support of your craftiness wanes and may disappear all together due to hurt feelings and continued cancellations and "rain checks" made by you because you really want to finish this or start on that, it's disgusting isn't it?

I've worked hard to not have this happen more than once in a blue moon because I really do value my friends and family.  However, I am guilty of continuing to hurt people inadvertently and unnecessarily and REALLY I never meant to hurt anyone on purpose or otherwise. I'm a dork.

All of you (and I do mean ALL) have unanimously agreed that I am truly a BERSERKER STITCHER.  It is my theory that because of this B.S. issue I am likened to someone who has a very uncontrollable case of ADHD.  I am easily excited, distracted and on to the next thing before you take the next breath....that's on a good day!  This ONLY applies to my world of crafting.  I love reading about it, I love learning about it, I love being spoken to about it, I love buying craft supplies! There is not one part of crafting I do not like except when I am so obsessed by it I don't see the hurt I have caused.

Granted, I'm pretty socially awkward, so it's really not surprising this happens.  It is a world I control (like Animal Crossing har, har) and in my world everything is sparkly and pretty and in it's place in accordance to my patterns and imagination.

Fortunately I am called out on any slight that I have committed and made aware of it so I don't do it again, and again I am fortunate that my friends and family love me enough to point it out to me. Pretty sure a few have wanted to slap me silly.

So to those I have offended or made sad or confused by what appeared to be total lack of feeling and focus....I AM TRULY SORRY.  I love my NCC, it's where I want to be so please respect that and in turn I shall respect that you are a person with feelings that matter because they really do matter.

Some of you are probably wondering why I apologize for being myself.  Because I want the people in my life in my life! I'd like to be the best person I can be, and being selfish isn't on that list.  I do not apologize for the happiness my beloved NCC gives me and my exuberance for it.  YOU, the crafter, understands, but those that don't....well....they won't but I still love them just the same.

And now that I have spent this special time with you, I shall now callously (not really but it may seem that way) turn back to my stitching because I just saw an update on Unconventional X Stitch where Elizabeth is stitching slow and steady and may WIN!!!  NOT allowed!  The competition is fierce.......

Until next time.....(unless someone does something horrible to the NCC after this blog posting)...Happy Stitching!

14 comments:

  1. I understand you so, so well - especially now that the move is so close, I feel like I should spend every moment possible with my grandparents, but I just NEED to be alone, I need me-time, and I feel bad about it, and that stresses me a lot, and the more I am stressed the more I need to be alone, and that's one effing hell of a circle! I wonder how that will be once Felix and I live together, I think he might understand, I hope he does...

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    1. YES!! I can tell you that it will be awhile until you can get into a routine and for sure it will not be the routine you used to have. Learning to live with Felix will be a challenge but he's already been exposed to your favorite things to do so I believe he will be fine with you going into your little Deutsch Zwig der NCC and hide for awhile. However you do have so many changes happening all at once and that is where you might lose your mind just a tiny bit. WE are here for you if all you want to do is SCREAM!

      Maybe once you have moved (tomorrow) you can put IHSW on the calender so Felix knows it's your time and any ideas he has the answer is already written on the calender :D It sounds like a good idea, but seriously I'm lucky if I get just the Saturday to hang out! hahahahaha!

      Good luck tomorrow! Pictures soon I hope??!!

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    2. Luckyly, he's really into our show and movie watching routine, and that fits perfectly with my stitching times...I'm quite confident we will manage, it will only take some time. I'm really planing to honour IHSW, I just don't know if I can make it happen this time - but there will be some pictures soon, I promise!

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  2. Ahhh yes the crafters, and introverts problem, sometimes you just need to be ALONE and friends and family understand, but sometime they need you too, and not the cranky, "damnit why do I have to go upstairs and talk, I comfortable and stitching" you. I find holidays are the worst for me, I love them, but there's so many people wanted to talk all the time, and sometimes I just want to escape and it isn't possible and then I get cranky, and then I feel guiltly and this kind of went off track.
    Anyway, I do understand and luckily your loved ones, that's why they are great.
    Now go back to Queen Bee and win that contest.

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    1. See, I KNEW my girls would get it! I am going to coffee tomorrow with a local girlfriend who I taught to knit a few years back (there were two of them). she's pretty awesome and we always end up laughing so it will be good.

      Yes, I understand about the holiday thing....it's ANNOYING and then the guilt but still ANNOYING hahahaha. Then when you do sneak off you get Mom or Dad asking why you are being anti-social! I've heard Mom send down the "word" before hahaha

      And yes, Queen Bee is coming right along. I have a three day weekend due to tomorrow being Alaska Day! My ONLY plan is coffee with Patricia, and the rest is STITCHING :D

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    2. Alaska Day is the 16th? I shall remember that.
      Yes mom always tells my I'm hibernating when I hole up for hours on end in the Shuswap.NCC. but she is an introvert herself and usually understands. Dad on the other hand, does not understand alone time. But he does accept it.

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    3. I'm sorry, Alaska Day is Friday the 17th. For some reason I was hell bent on making today Thrisday and it was just stupid Wednesday :( This work week has been too long and it's only a four day week!

      I have that same thing here where Emily does her alone thing but Michael wants to be social. Then Emily wants to be social but usually during the time I seriously do NOT want to be social ha ha! Hilarity ensues....(cough, cough....well, the yelling and hurt feelings ensue but let's stay positive!)

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  3. Yes... especially in the holidays as Nancy said and especially when one child has just finished bothering me, I've started counting where the next stitch needs to be and the other one starts and can't seem to wait till I've finished counting before I reply... even if I'm counting out loud! *sigh*

    People are exhausting though it's always fun to see them... when my energy levels can take it.

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    1. haha, and they need you RIGHT NOW! One would think they would know better ha ha! Cannot count and give them the focus required :D

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    2. Exactly - often it's for something simple that can definitively wait while i finish counting, like if they may have a sweetie - umm.. wouldn't waiting get a better result?

      However if I return the "favour" they get grumpy with me..

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    3. Right??!! May daughter still does that, it's hilarious!

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  4. I am relating to this discussion deeply. After thirteen years of taking fiddle lessons, going to uncounted jam sessions, (some of them unfriendly) and spending literally thousands of dollars traveling to music camps, I finally have found some really nice people to play music and grow with! And I retired and now have time to do this! But after being out of work for more than a year, I decided to try subbing in the schools to bring in some more money. And I know sometimes I will have to decide whether to work and make money or go play music. I will just have to work for a balance somehow. It did take a long time to get here. Phew!

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    1. I'm really glad you went for retirement and can NOW have that time to focus on what is truly important. What's really fabulous is that you have a lovely group to play with and I can say that with good people there is always good fun and lots of learning which makes it all worth while!

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