Brief Conversations With My Adult Daughter That Happened

It is always a good time when my daughter walks in and begins speaking or vice versa.  I never know what will come out of her mouth and one would think that having raised her myself I would be less shocked or surprised with our conversations.....but then I suppose I surprise her just as much.

PLEASE ENJOY!


Me:  Daughter, there is....can you...oh gawd, will you clean your room???

Daughter:  I can't.  It's called Xibalba and it grows.

Me:  Can you kill it please?

Daughter:  No mommy, the underworld will never die.

*****

Daughter:  Marm, why is the deadbolt always locked when I come home from work?

Me:  Because people walk through the house and steal the laundry soap.


******

Daughter:  Why is there burnt bread in the sink?

Me:  I have no idea, I wasn't here

*****

Me:  Did you know.....?

Daughter:  How long is this history lecture going to take? I have things to do online.

*****
(My brother James was on two episodes of the Nat Geo show Port Protection)

Daughter:  Why is Uncle Jimmy the only person on this show that knows what a Spruce tree is?

Me:  His name is now Joms...listen...Curly is about to call down to him....

*****

Me:  IF I ever become a grandmother I need to have a cool name the kidlets can call me...

Daughter:  Old is good, or old and fat....

Me:  I was thinking more like Yaya like the Greeks do, I don't like grandma...everyone is grandma....

Daughter:  No, old and fat or fatty mac fat

*****

Daughter:  From now on I am paying the rent!!

Me:  Okay

Daughter:  No, I mean I'm paying the rent but you have to give me money.

Me:  Will two bucks be okay because I really want to go to that con in Portland in two months...

*****

Daughter:  If I buy this food, you can pay me back for half.

Me:  Do I pick any of the food?

Daughter:  No, just pay for half. You put those chips in the cart.

Me:  Alright, well what's half of the internet bill?

Daughter: NEVERMIND.

Me:  Oh and how about $25 for the phone?  Wait, this is per month, so I'll pay half for the food and you pay half for the internet and $25 for your phone and then............

Daughter:  I'm not listening anymore.

*****

Me:  I found this hundred dollar bill...do you want it?

Daughter:  Oh yes!

(the next day via text)

Me:  Baby bird will you bring home TP?  I'm making Colcannon.

Daughter: Yes.

Me:  Can you bring home Tofurky, Naan, sour cream, mac and cheese?

Daughter:  I will bring home mac and cheese piggo but that's all.

Me:  ?

*****

Daughter:  I need to get a new office chair because mine is slowly falling apart.

Me:  Okay but we will have to dismantle it all the way before we put it in the dumpster.

Daughter: Yeah, I'll break it with my ASS.

*****
Me:  Your fries smell delicious, may I have one?

Daughter: Pretty Princess does not share.

Every day spent with my beautiful daughter is a blessing to me.  She is such a beautiful and intelligent and creative person that I really cannot get enough of!

Until next time.....Keep On Stitchin'!