It is always a good time when my daughter walks in and begins speaking or vice versa. I never know what will come out of her mouth and one would think that having raised her myself I would be less shocked or surprised with our conversations.....but then I suppose I surprise her just as much.
Me: Daughter, there is....can you...oh gawd, will you clean your room???
Daughter: I can't. It's called Xibalba and it grows.
Me: Can you kill it please?
Daughter: No mommy, the underworld will never die.
Daughter: Marm, why is the deadbolt always locked when I come home from work?
Me: Because people walk through the house and steal the laundry soap.
Daughter: Why is there burnt bread in the sink?
Me: I have no idea, I wasn't here
Me: Did you know.....?
Daughter: How long is this history lecture going to take? I have things to do online.
(My brother James was on two episodes of the Nat Geo show Port Protection)
Daughter: Why is Uncle Jimmy the only person on this show that knows what a Spruce tree is?
Me: His name is now Joms...listen...Curly is about to call down to him....
Me: IF I ever become a grandmother I need to have a cool name the kidlets can call me...
Daughter: Old is good, or old and fat....
Me: I was thinking more like Yaya like the Greeks do, I don't like grandma...everyone is grandma....
Daughter: No, old and fat or fatty mac fat
Daughter: From now on I am paying the rent!!
Daughter: No, I mean I'm paying the rent but you have to give me money.
Me: Will two bucks be okay because I really want to go to that con in Portland in two months...
Daughter: If I buy this food, you can pay me back for half.
Me: Do I pick any of the food?
Daughter: No, just pay for half. You put those chips in the cart.
Me: Alright, well what's half of the internet bill?
Me: Oh and how about $25 for the phone? Wait, this is per month, so I'll pay half for the food and you pay half for the internet and $25 for your phone and then............
Daughter: I'm not listening anymore.
Me: I found this hundred dollar bill...do you want it?
Daughter: Oh yes!
(the next day via text)
Me: Baby bird will you bring home TP? I'm making Colcannon.
Me: Can you bring home Tofurky, Naan, sour cream, mac and cheese?
Daughter: I will bring home mac and cheese piggo but that's all.
Daughter: I need to get a new office chair because mine is slowly falling apart.
Me: Okay but we will have to dismantle it all the way before we put it in the dumpster.
Daughter: Yeah, I'll break it with my ASS.
Me: Your fries smell delicious, may I have one?
Daughter: Pretty Princess does not share.
Every day spent with my beautiful daughter is a blessing to me. She is such a beautiful and intelligent and creative person that I really cannot get enough of!
Until next time.....Keep On Stitchin'!