I have often wondered if my family ever knew how dishes
could magically be cleaned and the counters wiped down. Granted, I’m usually the one who does all of
this because…well, I like a clean kitchen. My family steers clear for fear
of….I’m not quite sure why....clean maybe?
Sometimes while I clean the kitchen I fantasize about what
they (they being my family) do in the kitchen when I’m not in there.
Do they sneak up on the wash cloth, peer at it suspiciously
and say, “what is that for, do you suppose?”
Or maybe they are afraid of the little bottle of dish soap
that is sometimes on the window sill and sometimes on the counter? Are they worried it moves on it's own volition?
“Does it burn, do you think?” one of them mutters.
Or, in the case of my brother who insists that everything
must soak a good three days before the smell of the pond scum drives me so
crazy I have to wash the dishes twice to make sure the experiment is over and
the life forms are dead and gone.
The bickering heard in the kitchen when one of them thinks
it might be a good idea to “surprise” me by washing dishes and a quick swipe
across the crumb covered counters is amusing, the end result is not….How should
I say it? It is less than sanitary, but
I coo and compliment their endeavor and wait for them to prance away proudly so
I can get it done right (it is not that I'm a clean freak, it is just a matter of why do it at all if it isn't done right the first time? ...I think).
I had seen my daughter wield a mop once and what an excellent
job she did! Well, on most of the floor,
but she forgot to sweep first. Sighhhhh.
This evening I was informed that yes, he did know what dish soap
was and YES, it burns…with clean. Silly me for asking if he was alright...if looks could murder.....
Thankfully he’s only loading the dishwasher and pushing buttons which isn't
too difficult a chore so I’m confident there will be clean dishes in about an
hour....unless he did not bother with the soap....
I’m still seriously thinking about introducing my family to
the broom. There is a wonderful history
behind the broom, but they all roll their eyes and start gagging and flailing
around when I launch into an historical narrative about anything. I don’t want to sicken them, just show them what it’s
for.
On second thought, maybe I should just keep it to myself
like a state secret and continue laughing every time they see me sweeping and they have that perplexed look on their faces.
Makes me then wonder if they think I have lost my mind or maybe that
thing I’m swinging around does bad things to my mind?
I will probably never know the answers to some of my
questions and honestly, I like my fantasies while I clean. I do remember this moment in 1998 when my oldest son (believe he was 14 at the time) is sitting at the kitchen table and sweetly sang "Oh, maid! Maid, come clean this up would you?" Hilarity ensued.....
On the flip side to all of this, I am so lucky to have my family that will cook for me....my oldest son makes some really great cinnamon rolls, my daughter has mastered a beef stew that I salivate over just thinking about it, my let-it-soak-for-three-days brother lives far, far away, our housemate (he is family) loves a good Friday Night Pizza.....it has worked out very nicely that way.
I'm still thinking about the broom.....maybe I'll try that today....just leap out with broom in hand and cleverly launch into lesson one about THE BROOM and it's uses? Yes! Cannot wait to hear the screaming and wailing!
Until next time...
plant the seed and then water the hell out of it....
ReplyDeleteOr just drown them....either way :D
DeleteAfter the broom history lesson, which of course will include a ghost, start leaving the broom in random places throughout the house, sneak it into their rooms at night so it stares at them in the morning just begging to be put to use, put eyes on it. maybe a scarf, when no ones looking play the tardis noise and relocate it quickly, so much fun to be had.
ReplyDeleteSadly I have tried that and all I hear is swearing and something akin to "who the *(^&^%^%" put that there???!!! This is usually followed by struggling noise and more swearing. but I like the scarf and eyes idea...or maybe one of those sticker things that says HELLO...MY NAME IS Broom!
DeleteOk, eyes, scarf, hello sign and then somehow hang it from the ceiling above their bed at night, so it's the first thing they see when they wake up.
DeleteInteresting...sheer terror should do the trick!
DeleteGood luck with the Broom lesson and history!! Lol!!
ReplyDeleteIt will be deaf ears hahahahah!
DeleteSounds like ou have quite an arrangement there...still, introducing them to the broom (one way or another, haha :D) might be a good idea after all!
ReplyDeleteToday I learned that a large push broom makes for a great snow sweeper off of cars, so it is a clue to me that at least one person knows a little bit about the broom!
DeleteThank you for reminding what it is like have children at home, especially teenagers. You had me rolling with laughter as I recalled similar scenes playing out in my home. Now that they are grown they disavow any knowledge of this attitude as the wield the broom and then mop their floors as well soap and elbow grease on their dishes. However , my daughter still leaves dishes in the sink in her home and is not convinced that doing them immediately is a better strategy. Thanks for the memories.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure! The sad part is THESE ARE ADULTS hahahahaha!!!
DeleteI don't clean anything in the kitchen, I have a dishes fairy that does it all for me.
ReplyDeleteBut that's because I cook most of the dinners.
How lovely!! I love arrangements like that but it usually only last for a day or so, I'm a little jelly!
DeletePoor other-half only knows one or two dishes, and I like coming up with fun things, all cooked from scratch. I even tiled the backsplash behind the sink to make it easier to clean (he's not the best dishes fairy, but I hate dishes and I'm a better cook).
DeleteIf only we could come to an agreement about vacuuming :P
Good luck with that! If you figure out that arrangement I hope you will send me step by step directions on how you accomplished this mighty feat!
DeleteGo with the broom lesson - surprise attack just before something they WANT to do. I live in hope that my boys will learn.. one day...
ReplyDelete