I have often wondered if my family ever knew how dishes could magically be cleaned and the counters wiped down. Granted, I’m usually the one who does all of this because…well, I like a clean kitchen. My family steers clear for fear of….I’m not quite sure why....clean maybe?
Sometimes while I clean the kitchen I fantasize about what they (they being my family) do in the kitchen when I’m not in there.
Do they sneak up on the wash cloth, peer at it suspiciously and say, “what is that for, do you suppose?”
Or maybe they are afraid of the little bottle of dish soap that is sometimes on the window sill and sometimes on the counter? Are they worried it moves on it's own volition?
“Does it burn, do you think?” one of them mutters.
Or, in the case of my brother who insists that everything must soak a good three days before the smell of the pond scum drives me so crazy I have to wash the dishes twice to make sure the experiment is over and the life forms are dead and gone.
The bickering heard in the kitchen when one of them thinks it might be a good idea to “surprise” me by washing dishes and a quick swipe across the crumb covered counters is amusing, the end result is not….How should I say it? It is less than sanitary, but I coo and compliment their endeavor and wait for them to prance away proudly so I can get it done right (it is not that I'm a clean freak, it is just a matter of why do it at all if it isn't done right the first time? ...I think).
I had seen my daughter wield a mop once and what an excellent job she did! Well, on most of the floor, but she forgot to sweep first. Sighhhhh.
This evening I was informed that yes, he did know what dish soap was and YES, it burns…with clean. Silly me for asking if he was alright...if looks could murder.....
Thankfully he’s only loading the dishwasher and pushing buttons which isn't too difficult a chore so I’m confident there will be clean dishes in about an hour....unless he did not bother with the soap....
I’m still seriously thinking about introducing my family to the broom. There is a wonderful history behind the broom, but they all roll their eyes and start gagging and flailing around when I launch into an historical narrative about anything. I don’t want to sicken them, just show them what it’s for.
On second thought, maybe I should just keep it to myself like a state secret and continue laughing every time they see me sweeping and they have that perplexed look on their faces. Makes me then wonder if they think I have lost my mind or maybe that thing I’m swinging around does bad things to my mind?
I will probably never know the answers to some of my questions and honestly, I like my fantasies while I clean. I do remember this moment in 1998 when my oldest son (believe he was 14 at the time) is sitting at the kitchen table and sweetly sang "Oh, maid! Maid, come clean this up would you?" Hilarity ensued.....
On the flip side to all of this, I am so lucky to have my family that will cook for me....my oldest son makes some really great cinnamon rolls, my daughter has mastered a beef stew that I salivate over just thinking about it, my let-it-soak-for-three-days brother lives far, far away, our housemate (he is family) loves a good Friday Night Pizza.....it has worked out very nicely that way.
I'm still thinking about the broom.....maybe I'll try that today....just leap out with broom in hand and cleverly launch into lesson one about THE BROOM and it's uses? Yes! Cannot wait to hear the screaming and wailing!
Until next time...