October 9. That was the day. The day I went to work. My supervisor gave me a balloon as large as a zeppelin. You could see the zeppelin from miles away. That was the day I ate a cupcake that looked like a cuppa joe, but had delicious raspberry filling. That same day I was given more cupcakes lovingly made by my co-worker's son and they too were delicious. A good day for cupcakes. That day.
After work I had to go home, make sure my daughter was ready and wait for our "driver" to arrive to drive us to the birthday party that Leah had created. When the driver arrived, we were informed that our "ride" was to be more than we bargained for. As the vehicle lurched forward and gained momentum we noticed a bit of a shimmy and shake. We turned a corner and were launched down the mountainside with more shimmy and more shake and a terrifying screech of excitement escaped our lips. At least that is how I am describing it. I believe it was more along the lines of "ARE WE GOING TO DIE???"
Our driver used calming words in an equally exciting voice to assure us that we would be fine and arrive at our destination....the party that Leah had created...in one piece. Doubting the driver's words, regardless of how they were delivered, I was momentarily taken over by a flashback to the movie Airplane!
"She's starting to shimmy!! She's starting to shake!!" came tumbling out of my mouth along with a suicidal laugh as I held firmly to the oh shit bar located above the escape hatch of our now warbling vehicle which was rocketing across the bridge to Douglas Island. Nervous laughter all around and then we lapsed into a grim, yet determined to live, silence.
Approaching our destination...the party that Leah had created which was to take place at the Island Pub....there was much discussion on where to turn to arrive.
"We should turn left at the Methodist Church" I managed through clenching teeth.
"I don't know, maybe we should turn left at the Methodist Church" rips our driver.
"If that doesn't work, we could always turn left at the Methodist Church" I slam back at the driver.
"Maybe we should turn left at the Methodist Church, or drive up to this street here and turn left at the Methodist Church" .............our driver was really beginning to deliberate his next move and was becoming concerned as to the best route to take to the party that Leah had created.
"We should just turn left at the Methodist Church" my daughter states, as if our carnival ride had no affect on her whatsoever.
"Well if you think we should, we can turn left at the Methodist Church" our driver relented and began to stab at the brake pedal with vigor.
As it turned out, we turned left at the Methodist Church and lurched the rest of the block into the parking lot across from the Island Pub which was the location of the party that Leah had created and potentially our final destination at the end of that roller coaster trip to what we could only believe would be a "good time had by all".
Exiting the vehicle, legs shaky, stomach churning, and now worried that I would be returned home in the same manner....we regrouped, shook off the ride and stomped over to the Pub.
The party that Leah created was AMAZING!! I had Leah, Terri, Ness, Michael, Emily, Wade, Nicole, Patricia, and Cyndy there forcing bags of fun upon my person. The idea was to give specially tailored gifts which included: pink stick on mustaches, glow in the dark fairy mask and wand, Wash Away your Sins Bubble Bath (baptism in a bottle it says), Pocket Farkel (how one is to play this in your pocket is beyond me), Story Cubes (which is what I used to write this), A Witches Hat (which I wore), earrings, orange and black striped knee high socks, an owl cup that states "You're a Hoot" (the owl being part of a joke after my watching The Fourth Kind and now finding owls a bit creepy), a dammit doll (the purpose of which is to slam said doll while shouting dammit dammit dammit), a slice of cake with a comment about men and chocolate (never at the same time and the reasons why).....and so much more!
Between the people, cards, gifts and LAUGHING, I couldn't decide what the best part of this party that Leah had created was! All of it, I reckon.
As I had begun digging through all of the gift bags (Ness and Terri insisted I slurp down much wine....I'm still suspicious as to their motives on that one) Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server arrived on the scene and shoved another present in my face.
It was a box, plainly wrapped in cartoon comics from the Sunday paper with a shiny ribbon and bow. The piece of paper attached to it stated "Open the box first!" Everyone is leaning in to see what is going on here and I look up at Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server and she says "I don't know who dropped it off but they mentioned something about being a stripper".
Really? Hmmmm, the only stripper that comes to mind is another co-worker's husband who was jokingly referred to as a Polynesian Stripper at a going away party a few months ago....I could see him dropping off the box for his wife, yep, makes sense if she couldn't be here at the party Leah created since she did say she would be at a church function (she is Catholic and not Methodist and would not have taken a left at the Methodist Church as we had earlier in this story).
I read the paper taped to the box again (I swear my new glasses aren't working right and I never read any warning label stating that Progressive Lenses and Wine do not mix) and noticed it was a folded piece of paper taped shut. Naturally I had to pries it open to see what other words of wisdom this paper may contain and possibly point out the identity of the stripper who bears gifts.
Everyone is shouting now "It said OPEN BOX FIRST WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" Other comments about "not following directions" and "she can't read anyway" followed, but I chose to ignore those and read the inside of the paper anyway.....which said "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER". Whether it was wine or maybe I'm old, I was perplexed by the comment and now took on the task of taking the comic paper off of the box.
One end open revealed RONZONI Smart Taste Penne Riagate "The fiber of regular pasta".
Yes, take that moment you need to let that sink in. I did. I even shared that little tid bit with Ness who was a surprised as I was! I then ripped the rest of the paper off and through the plastic picture window I see shredded paper. The box is filled with shredded paper. I tear open the top of the box and plunge my hand in to root around the shredded paper and pull out......A RED TROLL!!!! Now the comment "Take me to your leader" makes perfect sense.
Yes, I have been surprised ONCE AGAIN by the mysterious Troll Doll Gifter. If you read back in time to the May Blog I shared the last surprise attack of the Troll Doll Gifter and the pains I took to figure out who this person is. My mystery continues and what FUN!!
Everyone at our table had been served their beautiful plates of food....except for me. I waited, and discussed the spinal bifida that Terri was enjoying (there is another name for her appetizer which escapes me but sounds very similar) and enjoyed the delicious salmon spread my daughter ate like she'd never had bread and spread before....and waited....and waited.....and waited.....and when almost everyone had finished their meals we asked Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server where be a plate for me? She was aghast that there was nothing in front of me but lingering shredded paper and an ever full glass of wine (which I believe was called Topo Gigio) and IMMEDIATELY went about procuring something delicious for me to stuff in my face.
When the food arrived, every bite I took was interrupted by my daughter and Michael making the rudest yummy-groaning-mouth sounds you have ever heard at a dinner table. "It good", "eat it", "urrrrrhhhhhaaaagaaaa uuuuhhhmmmmm" and the like were the dinner music I was privy to while trying not to choke on my food from laughing and crying. If they weren't making noise they were staring very intently. I don't recommend that everyone try eating with that kind of cacophony surrounding them, but it was entertaining.
Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server handled our group so graciously, and I know we were loud ("it good"), shouting, laughing, ("eat it") and enjoying the party that Leah created. My dinner was "on the house" which was splendid and as it should be, and as far as I could tell, there wasn't one person there who didn't enjoy themselves regardless of the reason they were there. It is my strong belief that Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server may have been able to pay her monthly rent with the tips that were left for her that evening. She was THAT good. I'm still questioning why she is a server!! Maybe it all comes down to the tips...or maybe she is one of the owners who obviously is proud of her establishment...or maybe she truly is just Our Most Precious and Magnificent Server and loves her job. I am in awe of her. I would bow down to her greatness (but it would require some assistance to get back up especially after the Topo Gigio) and I would go back to the Pub in the hopes that she would be my server again.
After the delicious food was eaten, the wine was emptied, beers disappeared, and conversations died down it was time to depart. Everyone was given a Topo Gigio (I'm pretty sure that isn't the name of the wine but that is sure what it sounded like by that time) hug and we all went about the business of leaving. I must thank Ness and Terri for the copious amounts of wine ladled upon my person because NOW it was time for the carnival ride home and so I strode with staggering confidence towards our chariot of mayhem with NO FEAR. The driver and my daughter, however.....they may have been working up their courage to climb aboard for they lagged behind. Now that I think about it, there were giggles and potentially rude comments coming from their mouths so maybe it wasn't fear, but their feeble attempt at hiding their mirth. I may be wrong, but something tells me I was the ass end of every joke they came up with that evening.
The drive home.....wait, that is too plain a description!!!!! The HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE home, was very quick, white caps bursting froth at five feet, with everyone breathlessly expounding on their favorite part of the evening (or trying to distract themselves from the rollicking behavior of our vehicle) and stating how much they enjoyed the party that Leah created. I too am forever thankful to Leah for putting together such a wonderful spectacle that even ROME would be envious of (except we didn't have nudity or killing and it was raining instead of hot and dirty and politics weren't involved at all so maybe I'm wrong here, but I like the idea of ROME being envious so we'll leave that in there). And then we were home (thank goodness!).
Even now, nine days later....I STILL have no clue who is sending me these troll dolls. I STILL cannot get over the excellence of that birthday party. I STILL cannot remember the correct name of Terri's appetizer. I STILL cannot remember the real name of the wine. I STILL am enjoying the mystery of the Troll Doll Gifter......all because of That Day.
Until next time.....